WOMAN HAS RUDOLPH-ESQUE PORK CHOP: A North Carolina woman believes that her pork chop looks like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. The woman stopped by a local TV affiliate earlier this week to show off the replica. Some have suggested the meat more closely resembles the antler-wearing dog in How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

CHECK IT OUT: http://tinyurl.com/ygdccp9

MAN BITES TO PREVENT FOOTBALL RECOVERY: Police are claiming that a Detroit-area man bit through a neighbor's lips after he recovered a football that accidentally had been tossed onto his lawn by teenagers. The man allegedly confiscated he ball and refused to return it until a parent asked for it back. The 44-year-old suspect then supposedly attacked the man, and "the bite went nearly all the way through his mouth." He's been arraigned on a charge of assault with intent to maim. (Macomb Daily)

TALL MEN GET BETTER-LOOKING WOMEN: A new study conducted by the United Kingdom's University of Central Lancashire found that tall men "obtain more attractive partners, are less likely to be childless and have a greater number of children than their shorter rivals." Researchers surveyed 100 men, between the ages of 18 and 72, as short as 5'1" and as tall as 6'5", and asked questions relating to romantic jealousy, relationship satisfaction and if tall men treat their partners differently. The results showed that taller men were less jealous and tended to be happier. However, they also tended to take up more of their partners time and be more confrontational with perceived rivals.

WHAT YOUR LADY’S UNDERWEAR SAYS ABOUT HER ...

Does your choice of underwear reveal what type of girl you are? According to blog, Holy Taco, each style of underwear gives away clues. See what you think ...

• Girls who wear boy short underwear are usually sporty tomboy types who are cute and playful and like to drink beer.

• Girls who wear thongs want guys to look at their butts.

• Girls who wear "granny panties" are completely relaxed and comfortable with their bodies. They're also probably in a committed relationship.

• If you go for G-strings, you're eager for men to see them.

• And the woman who goes commando is either slutty ... or lazy.

Source: Holy Taco

'COUPLES RETREAT': The comedy follows four Midwestern couples who embark on a journey to a tropical island resort who all end up being forced to partake in couples' therapy.

SIGNS YOU NEED MARRIAGE HELP (HubPages.com)

• When you and your spouse continually rehash the same argument, you probably need marriage help. Whether you literally have the same argument, or if just the dynamics of the fight are the same, your marriage is in trouble. In healthy marriages, couples know how to identify and address their issues with each other before they become ongoing problems that tear at the fabric of their marriage. So if you find yourselves having an old, familiar argument, you are wise to seek couples counseling before you dig a rut so deep that it is difficult to get out of it.
• If arguing and fighting are the primary way you and your spouse emotionally connect, your marriage is in danger. In a strange way, fighting is safe because neither of you has to feel vulnerable to the other, and yet it generates an intense connection. However, this mode of emotional connecting will become emotionally - and sometimes physically - dangerous. If this description fits your relationship, you definitely will need marriage help.
• If you find your self-esteem eroded since marrying your spouse, your marriage is becoming too emotionally costly for anybody's good. Of course, your marriage isn't necessarily the only challenge to your self-confidence. But especially if you sense that your spouse is deliberately undermining you, you are in danger of losing yourself in your relationship dysfunction. This benefits nobody, and you likely will need couples counseling to help reverse this negative dynamic.
• If it seems like everything and everybody is more important to your spouse than you, this makes very lopsided investments in your relationship. Maybe you tend to feel that way anyway, in which case you could need your spouse's help to heal that old wound. You will need to work on that to be an equal partner in your relationship.. But if you have married a very self-centered spouse, you definitely will need marriage help to correct this potentially untenable situation.
• If you find yourself just not liking your spouse any more, something is going very wrong. I am not talking about the temporary feeling we all occasionally experience when we are convinced that marring your spouse was the dumbest decision you're ever made! Rather, if this feeling is persistent and gets worse, you definitely will need marriage help before there is nothing left between you.

WORST NICKNAMES FOR YOUR EX (Lemondrop.com)

• Lawn Gnome: This guy looked oddly similar to a decorative plastic lawn accessory. According to Wikipedia, "Gnomes are traditionally thought of as being small, bearded and wearing pointed, colorful, conical hats." Petite, whimsical, and bad taste in hats? No thanks.
• The Pooper: At the end of a date, TP announced that he needed to take a dump (strike one) but that he can only "go" at his own apartment (strike two) which is conveniently located across the street from the restaurant. Blame the wine, but his date agreed to wait at his place while he went about his business. Seconds after emerging from the bano with the newspaper, he attempted to commence hook-up (strike three).
• Cheesefeet: Hours after a guy left from the first "sleepover," this gal noticed a terrible smell infiltrating her apartment. The stench was finally tracked to the bathroom garbage can, where a pair of crumpled, yellow, sweaty socks rested at the top. If they were so foul he had to throw them out, did he not think they would be discovered by the girl he was trying to impress?
• Alligator Arms: Unfortunately, this man's arms were so short he could never reach his wallet to pay for dinner.
• Crusty: This sounds worse than it is. But watching this dude eat oatmeal was a deal-breaker.
• Corn-Fed White-Boy: There was nothing wrong with this beefy, Midwestern fellow. My friend was just used to skinny vegan hipsters, rather than the wholesome kind of guy who drinks milk with dinner, eats meat casseroles and actually has enough of a gut to hold up his pants.
• Twin Bed: Sometimes we name people based on an experience or object that plays a pivotal role in our relationships. In this case, I'm referring to a 30-year-old who still sleeps in a twin bed. While he had luckily retired his Transformers sheets, my friend said this made for a very awkward, tight sleepover. She has since upgraded to men with full- or queen-size beds.
• Eyebrow Mike: We also tend to name people based on notable physical characteristics so our friends can easily identify them at a bar or party. Eyebrow Mike's "situation" could be spotted from a mile away. Others include, "Mom Jeans" (yes, in reference to a guy), "The Chachball" (obvious overuse of hair gel and jewelry), and "The Hot Mess" (sloppy but really good-looking).
• B.O. Hands: Nothing worse than a clammy hand hold, or sharing popcorn at the movies with this guy. Gross.
• The Penguin: He could have passed for Danny DeVito in "Batman Returns": short, mean, and possibly wore makeup. Done and done.

GERMANS ARE THE WORLD'S WORST LOVERS: According to an international poll by OnePoll.com, German men are the worst in bed in the world -- because they're "smelly." They were followed by Englishmen, who are lazy, while American men were ranked fifth for being "too rough." The best in the world are Spain, Brazil, Italy and France.

WORLD'S WORST LOVERS

• 1. Germany (too smelly)
• 2. England (too lazy)
• 3. Sweden (too quick)
• 4. Holland (too dominating)
• 5. America (too rough)
• 6. Greece (too lovey-dovey)
• 7. Wales (too selfish)
• 8. Scotland (too loud)
• 9. Turkey (too sweaty)
• 10. Russia (too hairy)

WEIRD FACTS ABOUT PERSONAL ADS (Lemondrop.com)

• Men in uniform: During World War I, lonely soldiers would place personal ads, with interested women sending batches of letters and care packages to the battlefields. Though this was at first viewed as a noble duty of patriotic bachelorettes, military officials balked when they realized that these love affairs could have an unfortunate side effect: STDs.
• Lady killers: Before there was the Craigslist Killer, there was Thomas Allaway. In 1921, a young woman named Irene Wilkins was discovered dead after she traveled to meet a potential employer in response to a classified job ad. That same year, Henri Desire Landru of Paris, known as "The French Bluebeard" thanks to his massive black beard, was convicted and hanged for the murders of seven women he had met through personal matrimonial ads. The women's bodies were never found, but thick plumes of smoke coming from his chimney lent credence to the belief that Landru had torched his victims.
• I'm a slaaaaaave for you: Some of the career placements found in '20s-era classified sections bordered on slavery. Authorities of the time feared that the ads were a breeding ground for luring women into prostitution, and in 1927 a Swiss politician asserted that ads played a role in as many as 30 percent of prostitution cases. A classic example: Englishman Hayley Morriss lured underage women to work in his home and then would attempt to seduce them, landing him a three-year stint in the clink.
• Swing and a miss: By the 1960s, swinging had entered the sexual lexicon, with ads placed by curious couples as early as 1955. Unfortunately, these orgies weren't exactly the stuff of "Eyes Wide Shut." One anthropologist studied the late-'60s swinging scene in Chicago and found that "the typical male was a slack-waisted, balding man of about 5-foot-10 ... Women averaged 5-foot-4 and, if not exactly fat, had succumbed to the early ravages of middle-age spread."