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November 30
MEN VS. WOMEN
According to AttuWorld.com, it's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
- a friend
- a companion
- a lover
- a brother
- a father
- a master
- a chef
- an electrician
- a carpenter
- a plumber
- a mechanic
- a decorator
- a stylist
- a psychologist
- a pest exterminator
- a psychiatrist
- a healer
- a good listener
- an organizer
- a good father
- very clean
- sympathetic
- athletic
- warm
- attentive
- gallant
- intelligent
- funny
- creative
- tender
- strong
- understanding
- tolerant
- prudent
- ambitious
- capable
- courageous
- determined
- true
- dependable
- passionate
- compassionate
Without forgetting to:
- give her compliments regularly
- love shopping
- be honest
- be very rich
- not stress her out
- not look at other girls
And, at the same time:
- give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
- give her lots of time, especially time for herself
- give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
While understanding how important it is to:
- never forget birthdays, anniversaries and arrangements she makes
On the other hand, here's how to make a man happy:
- Show up naked
- Bring food
November 25
HOW TO SURVIVE A BLACK FRIDAY STAMPEDE
If you're going to risk your life and shop with the crazed bargain hunters on Friday morning, be prepared.
According to Asylum.com, here are some tips on the best way to survive a retail stampede.
- Rule #1 -- Know the Terrain -- When the doors open and the soccer moms pour in, look around and find the entrances and exits, just like an airplane.
- Rule #2 -- Know Your Enemies -- Just because there are a lot of shoppers around doesn't mean they're a mob. Get to know the mood of the people. If they're impatient and angry, abusing those around them, banging on the doors, you might want to remove yourself from the situation before something sets them off.
- Rule #3 - Don't Wipe Out -- Keep your arms and legs close to your body to keep from getting tangled up in the crowd. If you start to lose your balance, stay calm. Panicking is a sure way to make things worse.
Source: Asylum.com
IS BINGE EATING LIKE DRUG ADDICTION? The Los Angeles Times reported, "The notion that binge eating and addiction are linked is supported by brain imaging studies that show significant overlap between the brain circuits activated by a drug addict's "craving" and those of a binge eater pondering an eating jag. Researchers also find that the brains of overeaters and those with substance addictions share a common shortage of receptors for the neurotransmitter dopamine, a key chemical in the activation of reward-seeking brain circuits." November 24
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THANKSGIVING: |
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You got lucky this year, and instead of having to play host for Thanksgiving, you get to play guest at someone else's house. You don't have to do all the cooking this year, but you do need to bring something to the dinner. But what?
Knowing what to bring to the Thanksgiving feast is very important. Whatever you bring, the host will put out on the table, so make sure you don't mess it up!
AskMen.com offers the Top 10 things you should bring to a Thanksgiving dinner:
10. Dessert -- You can never have too much dessert on Thanksgiving.
9. Bread -- No, that doesn't mean a loaf of Wonder. Go to your local bakery.
8. Gifts for the kids and/or pet.
7. Coffee -- Don't go cheap -- bring some gourmet stuff.
6. Flowers -- Go for a nice fall bouquet
5. Wine charms -- You know, those things you put on the wine glass so you know which one is yours.
4. DVDs -- Everyone's going to want something to watch while they're recovering from the meal.
3. Games -- Board games with your crowd could be fun.
2. Camera/video camera -- Everyone likes to capture the moment.
1. Booze -- You can't go wrong with alcohol.
Source: AskMen.com
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November 23
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THANKSGIVING: The Most Fattening Foods Ever
The creators of the This Is Why You're Fat web site offer 13 of the most outrageous, greasy, and fattening Thanksgiving creations ever. Check them out ...
1. Turbaconucken: A chicken inside a duck inside a turkey, and then all wrapped in bacon.
2. Bacon Weave Apple Pie: A traditional-looking apple pie, but with a bacon weave.
3. Oreo Stuff Dip: Oreo cream centers removed and melted into a dip.
4. Bacon-Wrapped Meatloaf: Bacon-wrapped meatloaf with a layer of mac and cheese.
5. Carb Casserole: A multi-layered casserole with layers of pizza, mole sauce, Mexican fiesta cheese, mashed potatoes, egg noodles, cheese and Stove Top Stuffing.
6. Hot Beef Sundae: Mashed potatoes covered in cheese and gravy and topped with a cherry
7. Krispy Kreme Pudding: Bill Nicholson's Krispy Kreme Bread Pudding with Butter Rum Sauce, as presented on Paula Deen's show Paula's Home Cooking. This includes 2 dozen Krispy Kreme donuts, a can of condensed milk, 2 cans of fruit cocktail (undrained), 2 eggs (beaten), raisins, salt, cinnamon, and the butter rum sauce (a stick of butter, a pound of powdered sugar, and rum).
8. Donut Turkey: A Turkey made entirely out of donuts.
9. Thanksgiving Leftover Sandwich: Leftover turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, corn, cranberries, macaroni and cheese, spinach balls, Puerto Rican rice, brussels sprouts, pearl onions, bacon, White Castle hamburgers and ravioli on a bun.
10. 12 Bird True Love Roast: This amazing creation is popular in England; it contains 12 different kinds of bird: a large turkey filled with goose, chicken, pheasant, Aylesbury and Barbary duck, poussin and guinea fowl, partridge, pigeon squab, quail and mallard duck.
11. Thanksgiving Sushi: An American twist on a Japanese classic. Turkey, stuffing and mashed potatoes inside nori wrap. Smokey turkey gravy in place of soy sauce. Cranberry sauce in place of wasabi.
12. Snack Stadium: Crackers, meats, cheeses, stuffed olives, chips, bread -- you name it -- all in the shape of a football stadium. Go team!
13. Turkey Meatloaf Cake: A cake with sweet potato filling, stuffing, mashed potato icing and cranberry jelly for decoration. | November 20
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RELATIONSHIPS: 13 Bad Guy Habits Women Can't Stand |
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Do you have bad luck when it comes to the ladies and can't understand why? You're good-looking, funny, employed. So why can't women stand to be around you? It may be one of your bad habits that they can't stand. Seems the gross and disturbing things we do in public do not go unnoticed. Women see everything, and according to website Your Tango, there are 13 bad guy habits that world could do without. They are:
- Scratching yourself in public.
- Whistling at women.
- Making dangerous gentleman's bets, like who could eat the most pounds of beef in one sitting.
- Refusing to dance when sober ... then refusing to leave the dance floor when drunk.
- Wearing cut-off jean shorts, socks with sandals, sandals with unkempt toenails, or Crocs.
- Shaving, waxing or plucking your uni-brow, back or shoulders and then telling people about it.
- Describing your bowel movements.
- Doing accents that aren't spot-on.
- Referring proudly to the number of Facebook friends you have.
- Thinking birth control is not your responsibility.
- Believing you look good in relaxed fit jeans.
- Thinking that it's not a meal if there's no meat involved.
- Making bad household decisions, such as shoving sweaty socks under the couch.
Source: YourTango.com |
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It's Friday -- which means new movies are opening. And if you're someone who likes to go the movies often, you know that despite the huge screen and astonishing surround sound, the theater can be one of the most annoying places to be for two hours -- thanks to the nine most obnoxious moviegoers ...
9. The frequent urinator who sits in the middle of the row and gets up 10 times during the movie.
8. The seven-foot giant or big-haired Bertha. Yep, they will choose the seat right in front of you.
7. The lovebirds making out behind you -- making the kissing noises and kicking the back of your seat.
6. The loud laugher. Whether he/she laughs at the appropriate time -- or an inappropriate time -- their laugh is loud and annoying.
5. The loud eaters shoveling handfuls of popcorn into their mouths, crinkling bags, chomping on candy, and sucking loudly on straws.
4. The critic, who instead of just sitting and watching the movie, has to get all Roger Ebert on everyone.
3. The echo guy -- he feels compelled to repeat every line spoken in the film.
2. The terrible toddler. Whose bright idea was it to bring the kid to the non-G-rated movie?
1. Cell phone girl. She apparently missed the announcement asking that phones be turned off and was absent the day they taught manners, so little miss chatty chatterbox talks through the whole movie.
Source: ScreenJunkies.com | November 19
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WORLD VIEW: No Bars Or Mistresses For Chinese Officials |
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As part of the Communist party's efforts to clamp down on the corruption that is threatening its power, Chinese government officials are being told to dump their mistresses and avoid bars.
The crackdown is occurring because an internal survey found that 95 percent of China's government officials investigated for corruption were found to be keeping mistresses.
And, according to Communist enforcer Qi Peiwen, it all comes down to money.
"It's just not possible to keep a mistress on your salary because maintaining this sort of extravagant lifestyle requires a large amount of cash money," he said. "So what do you do if you don't have the money? Naturally, you'll use the power at your disposal to go find some."
Source: Associated Press
| >>Minnesota Dad Speaks Only Klingon To His Son
Early child development is a hot topic among parents, just ask d'Armond Speers. According to the Minneapolis/St. Paul news blog CitiPages.com, the Minnesota man was determined to teach his newborn son a foreign language in his first three years of life. In so doing, Speers decided to only speak Klingon, the language spoken by the Klingon warrior race in the fictional "Star Trek" universe. Defending attempts to make his son fluent in the "Star Trek" language, Speers said he was interested in the child's acquisition process. Specifically, Speers wondered if his son would absorb the Klingon language as he would any other human language. Ironically, Speers insisted that he's not a Trekkie. However, he does take pride in the fact that his son was definitely starting to pick up the language.
November 18
MEN'S URINE IS MORE ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY THAN WOMEN'S
Environmentalists can be a nutty bunch.
For example, in England, the employees of the national parks system are using a compost bale to feed 400 acres of gardens and fields. This, in itself, isn't too strange.
But, they are also inviting male staff members to pee on the compost bale, as urine supposedly activates the compost and brings out the nutrients.
So, after hours, men -- and only men -- are tinkling on this bale before going home.
Women employees are not allowed to visit the "pee bale" -- and it's not just about the mechanical aspect of peeing outside or preserving staff members' modesty.
Instead, head gardener Philip Whaites says it's all about chemistry. "There are obvious logistical benefits to limiting it to male members of the team, but also male pee is preferable to women's, as the male stuff is apparently less acidic."
Source: TreeHugger.com >>Man Uses Ride-On Mower And Crane To Trim Hedge Tops
Two New Zealand men feel they've stumbled onto a new business. The friends - who prefer to remain unnamed -- employed a ride-on lawnmower and crane to trim the tops of hedges in the town of Cambridge. "The Waikato Times" reports that the unorthodox technique wasn't their original plan. The men ordered a hedge trimmer to do the gardening job, but when that didn't arrive -- they used what they had, namely a ride-on lawnmower dangling precariously from a crane. The man who actually rode the mower admitted it wasn't the safest method of trimming a hedge. He and his accomplice said they'd wanted to film the stunt, put it on the Internet and see how many hits it attracted. Sadly, while they had the crane and the massive mower, they had no video camera.
November 13
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FOR DIM BULBS: Ridiculous Warning Labels |
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When manufacturers of certain products need to pass specifications to get their products on the market, one of the requirements is to put a warning label on the package.
These companies are trying to protect themselves from getting sued by trying to protect idiots from hurting themselves.
Here are some ridiculous warning labels that go way overboard:
- Chainsaw -- Warning: Do not hold the wrong end of a chainsaw.
- Skateboard -- Warning: This product moves when used.
- Washing Machine -- Warning: Do not put any person in this washer.
- Lawn Mower -- Warning: Never use a lit match or open flame to check fuel level.
- iPod -- Warning: Do not eat iPod Shuffle.
Source: Unreality Mag
| November 12 An Australian man picked an unfortunate time to try and catch some shut eye. The "Daily Metro" reports that the man fell asleep while allegedly trying to break into a shopping center. Police in Perth found the man asleep on the ground with a wire in his hands. Police spokesman Samuel Dinnison remarks, quote, "he'd probably worked through the night and was a bit tired, which isn't a good attribute for someone in that line of work." Car keys found on the man opened a nearby car that contained prescription drugs that were linked to the recent burglary of a pharmacy. The man has since been charged with driving without a license, burglary and attempted burglary.
A robber in Alabama left behind a unique piece of evidence earlier this week. According to waaytv.com, a man broke into a couple's home and left behind a piece of his nose. Monday morning, a Tuscumbia couple awoke to discover the suspect in their home. The couple reportedly tried fighting the man off, and wound up biting off the tip of his nose. The man stole approximately 100-dollars, but left the tip of his sniffer behind. Police are now on the lookout for a man missing the tip of his nose.
November 10 (Chicago, IL) -- Call it one of the dangers of the job. Police in Chicago say a knife salesman was stabbed by one of his own knives when he fell on a CTA bus over the weekend. Police say the unidentified man slipped and fell, plunging one of his knives into his leg. Chicago Fire Department officials say the man lost a lot of blood and was taken a local hospital for treatment. The man says he sells his knives out of a suitcase, but isn't offering much of an expanded explanation. Firefighters say they do not believe the man's injuries are life threatening. Police are not saying if he will face any charges.
BIRD DOWNS WORLDS LARGEST ATOM SMASHER: The famed Large Hadron Collider in Geneva, Switzerland was briefly shut down after a small bird dropped pieces of bread onto an external electrical power supply causing a short circuit. Fortunately, the atom smasher has a fail-safe device that prevented any major damage or disruption. (AFP) November 09
BURGLAR REQUESTS UPDATED MUGSHOT: A Welsh man accused of burglary sent a more recent photo of himself standing next to a police van to a newspaper asking that they use the picture because he was not happy with the old mugshot they ran in the papers. A spokesman for the paper said he phoned them last Monday to voice his displeasure with the photograph and said he would send a new one. To the newspaper's surprise, the photo arrived later in the week. Police say the media attention to the new photograph will help to catch him faster. (UPI)
BABIES CRY IN DIALECT: A new study has found that newborn babies cry with regional 'accents' copied from their mothers. The journal Current Biology reports that the discovery suggests that babies are eavesdropping on their parent's conversations while still in the womb and are picking up their accents. Newborn babies tend to have simple cries that rise and then fall. But as the days and weeks pass, their cries become more sophisticated -- varying in pitch and length. The scientists digitally recorded the cries of 30 French and 30 German hungry babies and used computer software to analyze the results. The French baby cries tended to start low and then rise in pitch, while in contrast, the German baby cries tended to start high and then drop in pitch. The researchers said the patterns mirrored the intonation of French and German speakers.
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